Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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