He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
