I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
