Apparently you make a good broom.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
