He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
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I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
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Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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