The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
