I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
