My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
