Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think I just sharted jello shots
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