So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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