we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
