I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize