My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
