I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
