Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
