Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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