I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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