I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
