I heard we made out
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
