Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
