i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
