So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize