I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
why do cheetos always look like penises
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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