What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
