I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
