party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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