When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize