I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
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My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize