got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
