yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
