I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
