Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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