I didn't shave. On purpose
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.