i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed