honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
