The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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