You can't motorboat a personality
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
