Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
