Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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