There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
