We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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