I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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