The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
