I am puke
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
