I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Randomize
