My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
