he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
