do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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