May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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