Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Barsexuality is the new black.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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