Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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