I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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