it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize