she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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