oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
