the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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