Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize