No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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