He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
