I look better un-naked...
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
