i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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