Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize